Although Sarah is none too shy about asserting her two-ness, she is by nature pretty sweet and funny.  The rapid expansion of her vocabulary and her budding sense of humor help make her immensely fun to be around, much of the time.  I can’t count the number of times a day Brad or I will turn to the other and say, “Man, she is so funny!”

Sometimes when we stop to appreciate something funny she has said or done, I recall a vague impression of Lizzie at the same age.  Like a soft whisper in my ear.  Lizzie was equally funny and sweet, but my memories of that time are cloudy, at best.

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When Lizzie was 2 1/2, I was engulfed in a thick fog of antepartum depression.  Instead of appreciating the sweet gestures and funny comments, I was busy thinking of how to get out of this parenting gig.  As soon as the baby is born, I thought, I’ll run away.  I was fully convinced that Brad and the kids would be better off without me around.

Fortunately, I was able to join a support group for women suffering depression and anxiety during pregnancy.  The support of those women and the midwife and social worker who facilitated the group was a godsend.  They helped carry me through to Joshua’s birth and during a “reunion” meeting, they recognized the continuing struggle of postpartum depression and urged me to consider meds, in addition to the talk therapy I had already started.  Sadly, the support group is no longer facilitated through the clinic, due to budget cuts and lack of grant money.  (You probably don’t want to get me started on that topic.)

Sarah is a gift to me for so many reasons, but she has helped me recall sweet moments from an otherwise bitter time in my life.  For that, baby girl, I am very, very grateful.

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